May 11, 2009

1 year ago today - DDAY.

A year ago today I just finished up an EPIC sesh where I absolutely DECIMATED my online roll.  DDAY for me.  The donations were just absolutely absurd...it’s embarrassing how badly I played and ridiculously aggro I was playing (29/23/7.5 at FULL EFFING RING!).   The downswing was a product of literally every variable in the game - playing on tilt, playing too long, CRAP game selection (I was playing in some VERY tough 5/10 games), too many tables, playing too loose, and magically disabling my effing fold button from both my head and on the FTP software, ROR.  

When the dust cleared after 7500 hands and like 15 hours - I was just absolutely BEAT down.  I'm not going to get in the exact figure but let's just say it was MANY a BI's at a limit I was not entirely comfortable with.  

Finally I was able to stop the spewage - and then the amount of money that I lost finally sunk in.  I recall going to bed thinking "wait, did I REALLY just lose that much money?"  It was definitely difficult to stomach and I talked a bit to Bruechips a bit who herped analyzed the sesh - thankfully he got me to prop him on playing tighter (which would def help reduce my variance/downswings).  

I am not exactly sure how much I actually learned from my DDAY other than two things.

A) how crappy you feel when you lose/donate money of epic proportions.
B) how in reality...money doesn't really mean much in the grand scheme of things.  Shortly after DDAY, I met a new special lady who literally made me INSTA-forget about the downswing.   MUY +EV.

Whoops, I left one thing out - C) how quickly you can recoup your losses :)

Since then I have improved significantly (although I still have occasional lapses) in keeping my daily losses to a minimum.  It is incredibly difficult to simply come to a stop loss point - especially in the heat of the moment...but it is something that I continue to work on.  Thankfully there have not been any DDAY2 days yet :)

No comments: