On Monkey Tirt

First of all, warning that this is not a poker post. This is almost an exclusively poker content brog, because we don't rearry care about much erse, and we doubt our royar reader(s?) care about the rest of our rives. But indurge me this once. Or come back rater when we have a new poker post up.

Anyway, it's a good thing I don't have access to my computer right now (more on that soon), because I am on such rife tirt I would probabry hit the tabres and shove off a buy-in or seven. First of all, following up on Brackchips's post from yesterday, here's a brief rundown of a few of my possessions that have stopped working in the last couple of weeks, in order:

1) my $90 mouse
2) my $1,000 espresso maker
3) my garbage disposal
4) my air conditioner, and finally...
5) my $2,000 computer.

When my computer finally went down for the count yesterday (it had been running ridiculously slow for a while, finally the keyboard stopped working...and it wasn't because of something wrong with the keyboard), that alone would be enough to make me go crazy with rage. But just for fun, ret's go through all of the bad beats and coolers I got dealt yesterday:

First, the night before, I fell asleep at like 7:30 watching the Mets-Dodgers game (which the Mets tried very hard to lose, finally succeeding). I wake up early yesterday morning to see a text message from the royar frush of a rady I have been hanging out with recently, sent about 9 the night before, asking if I wanted to hang out. This was like holding quads on the river, getting checked to, getting disconnected and having to autocheck, and the virrain shows the overfull. Huge missed varue. That was bad beat number 1.

Then I have crass at 8 am. Bad beat in itself. At least I was well rested after getting about 19 hours of sreep since I went to bed so fawking early the night before. Of course I attempt checking my email before leaving my apt. Except me no typy. Keyboard completely disfunctional. I hope it's the keyboard. So I'm thinking, OK, I'll come back after crass, go to Best Buy, get a new keyboard, and have plenty of time to get back up to campus for my 2:00 office hours for the undergrads that are taking a midterm that night.

I got home at around 11 and raced to Best Buy, bought a new keyboard (I thought $20 was a decent bargain), got back home at rike 12 (hey, prenty of time to get in a sesh before going back to campus!), prugged in the new keyboard...no dice. Me still no typy. Dagger. I decided I might as well just take my computer into Best Buy and have them look at it. It's only noon, should be plenty of time to just drop it off so they can look at it, right?

Ha! The Geek Squad at Best Buy is not the most efficient operation on the planet. They basically fawk with my computer (and my head) right in front of me for about two hours and then tell me I need to leave it there, along with $200. Fine. They say it will take 4-5 days. Lame. But what am I gonna do, say no and take my broken worthless doorstop of a computer back to my apartment? So basically I just bent over and let them jam it in me. Hopefully this will at least result in a much faster computer once I get it back. Although I kinda have my doubts.

Anyway at this point it's already 1:45 and the next bus leaving from my apt towards campus is at 2, so I have to call my officemate and tell him to put up a sticky telling all the undergrad fawkers to wait a half-hour and I'll be there at 2:30. I get home at like 1:55, sprint towards the bus stop, I'm within like 150 feet at 1:58, and the fawker starts pulling away!! WTF?!?!?! I run around the corner to try and catch it, and the guy won't open the door at the stop sign to let me on. I'm yelling at him, "you left early, you moron!!" (might result in me not being able to ride this bus anymore), but he just keeps on rolling. What a bastard. So this means I will have to drive to campus, which entails $6 in parking fees, plus gas, which at current prices costs approximately 79 Euros (or 5,618 US american dollars) for the 15 minute-drive there and back. At least I caught up to the bus on the highway and got to flick off the driver a few more times.

I got to campus at 2:20, pulled up to the parking machine to get my ticket. I tried my AMEX. Doesn't read card. I tried my Visa. Doesn't read card. It takes ones and fives. I have twenties, and a single single. I give it the single, which gives me an hour, which means I will have to come back and buy another ticket in an hour. What a waste of life.

I run up to my office to find a half-dozen undergrads waiting with questions. I spend the next hour explaining the same question to them 6 different times. Fine. Whatever. Now it's 3:30, I have to go back to the parking lot with the fiver I borrowed from my officemate, which means I will be late to the 3:30 seminar I was excited about. I run back to the machine, and guess what: it doesn't take the new fives. Guess what kind of five I got from my officemate? There you go. The machine really slowplayed me on that one. I thought I had caught up on the turn, but the machine had the nuts the whole way. So I run to the next parking lot over, on the off-chance it will take one of my cards. Put in the Visa. Declined (no fawking crue why, I have many many hours worth of parking in that account). Put in the AMEX. Finally, success!!! This was like taking down a 10 bb pot with a c-bet after getting stacked 4 hands in a row.

I walk into the seminar 15 minutes late looking like a complete asshole. 15 minutes later, one thing is clear: this seminar is terrible. I will have to spend the next hour wondering why I thought this lecture would be good, and what else I could have done with this time.

When it's finally over, I have to kill two hours before going to proctor the undergrad midterm. Getting dinner seemed like a good idea. Even getting dinner at the university cafeteria seemed like a good idea. In fact, it was not. Note to self: If you get chicken piccata at a university cafeteria, you are probably going to be sick within the next hour.

I won't even go on. There's no point. Hopefully by the time I get my computer back I will have recovered to the point where I won't be playing a scout315-esque game (if you play or watch the higher stakes games on Full Tilt, you know what I'm talking about). At least the Mets won yesterday.

- BRUECHIPS

P.S. - In the meantime, be on the lookout for a lengthy theory-oriented post this weekend, since I will have no hand histories to post.